Log from
September 21st:
My Mistress's presence has led to a lot of give and
take. She gives me her protection, and in turn, I give her all I have in me to
give. The only thing is...sometimes - very rarely - she has these lapses. She
becomes disoriented, confused...she acts almost drunk. The first time, she
nearly slipped away back into the Empty City. I panicked and begged her to
stay, so she did...but she seemed so...weak.
She goes on about strange things, but the part that
worries me is how she addresses herself. She'll refer to the Red Cap like it's
something else entirely. It's as if she doesn't know who she is. The dog gets
antsy, while she's in that state - growling, getting hostile. At one point, it
even attacked her. She slaughtered him, and left a pile of rotting flesh where
the canine used to be.
Just thinking back on it gives me nightmares. I
swear that pile of skin looked familiar. Maybe that's just my mind playing
tricks on me, but even so... I'm not exactly sad to see the dog go.
After she killed him, she became herself again.
Still, periodically, there are...lapses. Times when she stops being my
Mistress, and becomes... 'Red'. Before, there was no telling one from the
other, but...
Have I gone mad? Is it only my perception that's
changed?
The only certain thing is that I don't feel safe
with her, when she isn't strong.
i told you it wouldnt last. 'true vessel' - thats a laugh. shes fighting the red cap just as their finally beginning to truly merge. she'll be weak, little robin, and theres no telling for how long.
ReplyDeletecome to me. i am not weak. i'm always in control.
i'll keep you safe. i promise.