Log from July 30th:
It’s taken some time to absorb the fact that, according to my Mistress, I am a Vessel. If she were to be with me, part of the Red Cap would be absorbed into me. Our power would be shared – perhaps not one in the same, for I don’t believe there could be another who is more powerful than my Mistress – and…
I would no longer be her Priestess. The ground between us would be more equal.
I have decided never to ask such a thing of her. She needs me, exactly as I am. Besides…I kind of enjoy being a celebrity among Scarlet-marked, but I don’t think I could handle being their ‘mistress’, also.
Especially since…I don’t think I could deal with touching a man in any intimate way. It just makes me squirm.